Once upon a time insane people were degenerates, hysterical women were committed and a slight but enduring twitch in your right arm signified nothing more than a small muscular strain. Then along came Sigmund Freud, ego’s id’s and Oedipus and all of a sudden men across the world found their repressed desire to masturbate was being displayed to all and sundry. Psychoanalysis how we love thee. Amongst other ground breaking theories, Freud very kindly gave us the concept of ’Envy of the Penis ’ which goes something like this; girls feel deeply their lack of a sexual organ which is equal in value to the male one and on this account they regard themselves as inferior i.e. girls feel inferior to men in many ways which stem from a deep rooted feeling of envy for their penis. Right. A theory well worth putting to the test especially in the skate and snowboard industry and who better to do this with than Jenna Selby, one of the best female skaters in Europe, sponsored by Gallaz, Carhartt and Unique skate products.
As a woman in the skate industry in the UK you seem to have two options – be a female skateboarder who looks and acts like a man or be a pro-ho in a mini skirt and cute t-shirt with long hair in pigtails. It’s therefore great to meet someone like Jenna who is an amazing inspiration to girl skaters everywhere. She lives and breathes skateboarding but is devoid of the attitude which seems to infect most UK riders. In my opinion she is the future of the UK scene, with broad horizons and an intelligent viewpoint opening up skateboarding to a wider populace and actively creating a new dimension – Jenna’s a skateboarder who happens to be a girl. Lads you gotta learn to accept it. I got bored writing out questions like ‘how old are you?,’ ‘do you like skating?’ so figured I’d just ask anything hence the complete pile of bollocks interview which would never make its way into The Times literary supplement.



1. The main symptom of penis envy is an unconscious scratching of ones private in public whilst walking. Have you ever been caught doing this?
- Well being the classy lady I am, I’ve mastered it into a fine art, so as of yet these
tasteless actions of mine have not been detected by the public.

2. Would you be embarrassed if you were?
- No, everyone else does it.

3. How long have you been skating?
- 4ish years plus

4. At anytime in your skating career have you wished you had a penis? Would it have aided you in anyway?
- It would be farcical to know what it feels like when a boardslide goes wrong and you land heavily on your p-parts and can’t walk for a week, or you have that strange bow-legged shuffle going on because of it. I guess I miss out on being able to compare a ding dong with other guys to make them feel small and of course I feel totally inadequate because I can’t get one out at comps when pissed-drunk.

5. Who are your sponsors?
-Unique Skate Products (cheers Alex and Josh), Gallaz (cheers Emma) and Carhartt (cheers Kate the clothes are blinging!)

6. Have you ever been sick after drinking too much alcohol?
- When I was younger, (back in the day) I thought a good Friday night out was when I went to Hatfield Indie which involved assuming the identity of an 18 years old and trying to blag buying alcohol in the supermarket next door (this usually didn’t work), then I’d try to persuade my dad to get me some, but if all else failed I’d give the older guys (Well I thought 20 was old then-ha don’t I scoff now!) a couple of quid to buy me a few pints of snakebite and black. Generally 2 minutes after consumption I’d be totally mashed and I’d spend most of the night with my head down the toilet spewing my guts out with my mate in the adjacent cubicle doing the same…they were good days. Then four years ago, I went to Uni. and gave up drinking.

7. What do you never leave home without?
- My head

8. What was the last trick you learnt? It doesn’t have to be a skate trick.
- To hold a bottle on my mouth whilst walking around with bottle tops on my eyes as taught by Rosie Adams, cheers.

9. When was the last time you got caught doing something illegal?
-I was wearing trainers and wasn’t allowed in Bah Rumba

10. You were in Germany over the w/e - what did you do there? Was it a comp, did you enjoy it blah blah.
-Anyone who has any squids spare should go to Stuttgart, as it is the most amazing place you’ll ever go to skate. There are so many sets of steps (literally thousands of different ones) ranging from 1- a large amount, random marble blocks dotted around, a wide selection of ledges and rails here, there and everywhere. The street skating is so good that you could stay there for a month and not skate the same spot twice, you just have to walk a few hundred yards and you’ll be skating a completely different terrain. If the weather isn’t holding out there is a choice of about four skate parks, the Green Room, Hall 11, one in a prossie district and Uberesslinen. We tried to fit everything into 5 days hence why I overslept and thought I was gonna miss my flight this morning. I just re-read this and realised that it sounded like a tourist guide…well you should go there if you can.

11. Is the female skate scene different in Europe to England.
-Well I was under the impression that by going to Germany every other skater would be female…yeah right! More like zippo! I’ve skated in a few different countries (check me out) and the only time I’ve ever seen any other girls skate was at the comps so in that respect we are similar but I guess I can’t really compare…actually the British scene for girls is the best! We may not get as much coverage as the guys here but there’s lots of networking going on underground, All Girl Jams are being organised on a more regular basis: (Check out www.girlsskateout.co.uk) and I now have more than one friend.12. Do you wish you could run for a bus in high heels?
-Yeah baby then I could impress all the boys. Probably end up caning myself even more than when I skate…



13. Do you snowboard? How long? Do you like it? Would you like to try blah blah.
-Well whilst I was in Italy last year staying in my chateau with my new found chums I travelled to the Ita-Fra boarder to Limone and had a dab at it yah. But I’m gonna have to admit that as I skied quite a lot when I was younger I’ve got more of a passion for that than snowboarding (Boo, Hiss.) Years ago I used to work at my local ski slope in ‘emel Hempstead and my job involved laughing at all the people who crashed into the barrier at the end of the slope. They thought they were the dogs-b’s until they hit that barrier full force ha ha. But I had my come upance when I was skiing and I thought it would be real cool to ski through the turnstile onto the lift like they do in films except I didn’t realise that this one didn’t turn quite that quick and I went arse over tit and had these amazing ‘line’ bruises across my legs…can I also say whoever invented t-bar lifts should be shot! Thanks.

14. Do you have a problem with brands like Nike, Adidas etc entering the skate market? Why?
-To be honest I have a real problem with these brands in general, sweatshops et al. I think these large corporate companies believe that by investing in what they see as a lucrative money making "sport", they will then appeal to a wider and perhaps more "alternative" audience thus sucking us all into there corporate sold out world…but I guess that’s the skate scene?

15. Would you rather lose your wallet or you’re marbles? Why?
-Well my wallets never got too much in it…looking at it at the moment; there’s a train pass with some goofy photo, my library card and 1 Euro and 50cents.

16. Would you like a penis for the day? Would you be taken more seriously as a skater do you think if you had one?
-Didn’t you asked this question before…
oh yeah. Told you I wasn’t a genius at interviews. Someone pass the vodka.

17. Favourite album.
-Well I used to watch Limp Bizkit on TV cos I fancied Wes then he left and I don’t anymore…I hate questions like this because there’s so many good albums, to name but a few; Course of Action, SOIA, BSF, Ignite, DJ Chopsticks, DJ Shadow, Nirvana, Billy Oceans greatest hits…anything from an ‘80’s feel good film, like "The Best" from Karate Kid 1. I’m compiling a compilation of 80’s feel good songs, which at the moment includes two songs from Teen Wolf, Starship’s "Nothing’s gonna stop us now" from Mannequin and Boy meets Girl "waiting for a star to fall." I think from Jewel on the Nile actually to be honest I can’t remember. The best example of cheese/ cock rock being put to good use was at Newport’s Skate Extreme where they used to have this tape with classics "Eye of the Tiger" and Alice Cooper’s "Poison" on. Every time they played it you’d see this sudden change of attitude in everyone’s skating like they were really striving to be the best-amazing.

18. Favourite drink.
-Hot water

19. Favourite question out of these.
-The one about my favourite album because it was the shortest question that I could write loads of bollocks to.
Cheers Jen
PS Could I just add Pioneer in St Albans has now reopened and it’s one lush indoor park, opening times are Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri 7-10, Weds 7.30-10.30 (skateboarder only night) and Sat and Sun 12-5. Weekday session’s £2 and weekend sessions £3-bargain!

And there you have it. Jonathan Dimbleby take note – that’s how an interview should be carried out. I could have done it seriously but when you’ve seen Jenna dancing to Princess Superstar at 2am it’s hard to take her seriously………

Interview by Susan Greenwood@Step-on

11/11/02